The Book

All I literally wanted to do was get my thoughts out somewhere. And I thought opening up my system will do some good. Stupid decision. And the reason its stupid is because it took 1 min to start my system and get up my windows. Then I opened MS Word that took another 30 seconds delay. And when it opens, it shows me activation issue. So I had to install a crack for it to get it to work fine because you see I’m just a student who is not earning and with no pocket money at all to spare on some shitty activation thing just to ensure the software is genuine so that the production company may gain some profit. All this nonsense just to put out my thoughts. This gets irritating sometimes you know. How you want to actually do something and end up doing something else that you never even wanted to do in the first place. I guess that’s why Apple is making such profits via their systems. Just press a button to power-on the thing. And in 3 seconds, the system is up and running. There are the icons to open the apps with no extra distractive latencies. Do what you actually mean to do. Point black. No shit.

But then as I mentioned, I’m just a student who is broke most of the time, and with no pocket money, I can only have that my father has provided me with. This Windows laptop. And don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful system.  I can do almost anything and there are so many features here that Apple can never offer. That too with cheap or no price at all. Ok, I plead guilty. I always download any paid software from torrents and use cracks, because let’s face it. The internet is there. My old man is already paying for the connection. And if I’m getting some extra things at the same price, then hell yea! I will get it. It's like you go to a mall and see a great shirt and you think, that this is going to look stunning on you. And you have already paid the entrance fee for the mall, or maybe the parking ticket or whatever, that’s not the point. The point is you have already paid some amount for entering the mall. Now you see a shirt and you want it. It's expensive, and let's face it, you are broke. But then someone calls you up and tells you that this shirt can be yours at no extra cost, but there’s a risk if you wear that shirt the next time you enter the mall, you will be caught and the shirt will either be taken back or torn into pieces by the same company that is providing it with a bill.

And if you are someone like me then you know what you have to do! I mean, why not take the god damn risk. Just don’t go to the mall with the same shirt. Put it in your closet for that day. And why just shirt, pick up the jacket from around the corner, also don’t miss the stunning 3-piece suit, ripped jeans, ties or whatever you want. It’s all for your productivity, isn’t it? That’s the whole point.

Anyhow. That’s not why I’m here. I had to blabber all this because the shitty windows aren’t that helpful in your productivity. They come with lags. I was here because of another reason.

You see I have been thinking of a story. A long story. More like a novel. And I want to write it. And I’ve already written some pages of it. Okay, maybe a few pages only. It's an interesting story. And something anyone would love to come across. But then whenever I think of writing it, I can’t. It’s like there is something inside me that is trying to stop me from going along with this story. I can’t really figure out what the problem is. Is it because I’m afraid that I might not be able to complete it when I start it. Or is it he laziness inside me that subconsciously pulls me back. I mean I do sometimes think that if I start writing it then I’ll have to finish it all the way to the end. And it’s so redundant. I will have to get up daily, think of the story, and write it on my own. Such a waste! But I do like this story very much. It’s my favourite. And there isn’t anything like it out there. But that’s not why I want to write it in the first place, I want to do it to let my voice reach others who would want to listen to this one.

God, it would have been easy if someone had just written it down for me as I dictated it.

Wait there is some other reason too. What if I’m not good enough or not trained to write a story. I mean you have to take care of the narrative, the grammar, the tenses and all. I eventually mess it up. And if I mess it up, people are only going to be critical about it, rather than keeping up with the story, I mean a bad grammar is a real turn-off thing. I know because I myself am a grammar nazi. Well, at least a little undergrad of a grammar nazi.

I don’t know how and where to get help for my writing. I want to be good. And I can be good if I’m good with the grammar. I sometimes wish to have a mentor but how can I find one, that I don’t know.

Maybe I’ll keep on procrastinating. Or maybe someday I’ll get back to my story again.

If anyone reading this wants to spare any advice, then you are more than welcome. Maybe you can inspire me, or maybe you can point out my flaws. Either way I’ll be taking it as a positive response to what you have to say. But just say it.